Shop Launch Reflection
Photo taken by the incredible Ivy Towler @ivytowler on Instagram
This past week was the launch of my website & little art shop, and I find myself emotionally reflecting on BiB & how it all started..
I am a student of watercolor, and a student of dismantling limiting beliefs. My goal with all of this is to be brave in extending my comfort zone & to *be authentically me*. Many of you who have known me for a while may think that all this painting came out of nowhere. But the truth is, I’ve wanted to be a writer & artist from a very young age.
I also very much wanted to be a dentist since the age of 5. With academic drive, I thought I had to prioritize & choose. Career over Creativity. My creative side became something I didn’t “have time for”, didn’t make room for. I suppressed my creativity for an uncomfortably long time. Intentionally or unintentionally, school and success and stress and this idea of needing to be perfect, it all collectively squashed the creative juice out of me.
I have found myself grappling with my identities as a surgeon vs an artist… But it’s not a competition. I can be and AM both. I know that now.
The seeds of BiB started a couple years ago, when I intentionally gave up on the idea of perfection and a black & white mentality. I’m sure many of you can relate to the struggles of a black & white mentality. A motto & ambition of mine the last 2 years has been to “Live In The Gray”. I slowed down. Way down. And like many of you during the early days of the pandemic, started looking at things differently.
I realized it was time to let go of burnout. Because I wasn’t getting the Best of Me. And no one else else was getting the Best of Me either.
When I let go, decided to “Live in the Gray”, released myself from some external pressures & put up some boundaries, it was like I was a sponge dipped in water. I started soaking up nature, new ideas, self-awareness & creative energy. Instead of being squeezed dry, I suddenly found myself with the craving to write & paint again.
Finally, after many years, I was filled up, passionate & able to pour into the side of myself long hidden.
Art isn’t something new for me. It was just tucked away. And getting to now share that side of me with everyone makes me feel truly whole.
I am profoundly grateful you are here & on this adventure with me.
I hope you may be inspired to “Live in the Gray” a little more yourself. 💕